Happy Marriage Tips
Love & relationships in a marriage should run smooth like a successful business. Plan conferences, have routines, respect each other and the relationship, spend time together and time apart.
Here're some Tips and strategies to help you have a successful, long-term marriage.
Last Updated - 30th September 2005
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Present a united front. Don't denigrate your partner to anyone else. Remember the wonderful things that attracted you to your mate, and don't be shy about letting others know about these qualities.
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Conflict is your friend. There are differences in every relationship - what makes or breaks a marriage is how partners choose to resolve those conflicts. Ignoring them is not the solution. That would be like ignoring cancer in the hope that it will go away by itself. Actually when conflicts are resolved successfully, the relationship can move to an even higher level of stability and intimacy.
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Gain perspective from trouble. All marriages will present problems along the way, and events such as war, separation, illness or financial hardship will test a couple's strength in dealing with them.
- Many marriages fail today because the people involved do not know how to
show love for one another since they were brought up in a loveless relationship.
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Listen with empathy. Empathy is your ability to see things from your partner's perspective. Listen to your partner and tune in to his/her feelings. Whatever your partner is feeling "makes sense" from his or her perspective. When you start to "get it", you will know not only what your partner is feeling - you will also understand why. You are ready for the next step.
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Look for someone who shares your values. Any couple can expect to argue, a normal part of human behavior. But sharing similar values and goals can keep them from serious, destructive fights that can destroy the marriage.
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Make it sweet. Nobody likes to be scolded. Express those feelings of love as strongly as you can! That sweetness will make what follows a lot easier to swallow.
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Look for win-win solutions. Don't settle for a compromise "lose-lose" solution. In an atmosphere of love and trust, couples can come up with creative solutions that are satisfying to both partners.
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Money matters. Pick a mate you trust, and trust him or her. Set your financial goals together, and work together to meet them.
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Keep love alive. Infatuation fades, but a couple can sustain attraction, enthusiasm and the comfort of sex over time. If you keep your love alive, you won't get bored.
- Don't try to fix every problem you have over the next year. Focus on improving two or
three particular problem areas, and then when you make progress add another area from
your original list. Then, next year go out for dinner and review the progress you made over
this past year, celebrate your success, and make a new list for this coming year.
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Try to make your partner happy. People who love one another try to be understanding, considerate and generous.
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Respect your partner's opinion. You might not always agree, but you should listen.
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Follow-up. Remind one another of your solution and check on a regular basis to see how it is working. If necessary, discuss the situation again and review the results of your first solution. Make adjustments and try again.
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